Best my Life

My life has been transformed. Completely and utterly turned on its head, and it is amazing. I go to bed like a child on Christmas Eve because I am so excited to begin another day. What could be better than that?

I'm bursting with enthusiasm, energy and a desire to share what has happened to me, because it wasn't always like this.

My relationships with my children, my friends, and my family have improved beyond measure. But also and most importantly my relationship with me. I say most importantly because I now realize that the relationship we have with ourselves is key to living the best life possible. Fall in love with yourself and life will fall in love with you.

In the last five months I have experienced more love, laughter and carefree moments, seen more beauty in the world around me than in all of my adult life. My eyes are open. I've woken up. I'm wide awake and it is phenomenal.

Last October I was in a very different place, having lived for a long time an obsessive and structured lifestyle and dieted hard to compete as a first-time bikini competitor. Afterward I struggled with trying to live a balanced life, the weight I gained (though it seemed normal, even healthy to others) filled me with self-loathing, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and didn't want to leave my house. I lost the financial backing for a business venture and felt a failure in every role - mother, girlfriend, businesswoman. Withdrawn, felt I was letting everyone down. Consumed by guilt I was exhausted and overwhelmed.

Even in the darkest moments buried deep down was the knowledge that life could be better than this, but I didn't want to acknowledge let alone act on it.

This knowledge had come to me when months before a friend had recommended to me that I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I'd been going through a stressful time with the challenges that a strict competition diet and training bring along with being self employed and having a young family, she thought it would benefit me.

I read it in one sitting, and it made me aware that although I considered myself a positive person I unwittingly brought a lot of negativity into my life by focusing more on what I didn't want rather than what I wanted.